A Homage to Brent Saeli

When I was first planning this walk in early 2024, I thought of the people who I’d love to walk with. The list I came up with was only five people long and Brent was right there. I intended to reach out to invite him, but more and more time passed until just ten days before I was scheduled to begin. And that’s when I received a message from him sharing that he’d like to join me for the Washington portion of the walk. The answer from me was a resounding YES!

Just days before the walk began, Brent and I met up in Port Townsend and caught a ride up to the Canadian border to begin the walk together. I knew I’d be walking the 1,600 miles to LA, and Brent was more or less going day by day.

The journey began with us completing each other’s thoughts and taking each other’s steps. There have been few people I’ve ever been so “on the same page” with. Day by day, we walked without the slightest qualms and with deep connection and joy. Brent was already one of my closest friends and he became a closer friend with each mile.

One of the aspects that brings us so close together is the similarity of the projection of our lives. At a similar time, we woke up to the reality of the lives we were living as part of systems of domination and destruction and set out on journeys to adopt a wildly new way of living. We have both been seeking the mastery and liberation of our own minds. When we are together, we are both led down the paths we want to be on. I learn from him. He learns from me. We grow together and as individuals.

Brent has been one of the most supportive friends in my life for the last three years. It started with him joining my team in St. Pete, Florida in 2021 when I was learning how deeply I had buried myself in the chaos of managing a team of people while not being skilled or resourced for the situation I had created. We went for many walks and he listened to me and helped me to ground myself and find my base. Although I have made substantial strides in understanding my capabilities since then, this trip was yet again an opportunity for me to take on more than I could handle and enter a state of overwhelm and stress.

At the start, I had not tested out my pack and trying to walk barefoot. I was questioning my ability to make it from town to town. I downsized substantially and Brent carried my heaviest gear, taking a substantial load off my legs and feet. He took on roles of support in numerous ways and he did it with great joy – cooking meals, communicating with hosts, planning the route, shopping and more. Brent is a servant. He is here to serve the people he is with. Brent serves from a place of love and a place of devotion to living for humanity and beyond himself. Everywhere we went together, I saw him in service. Wherever there were dishes in the sink, they would be washed and put away. Where a bike needed to be fixed, it would be back to riding condition before we left the home. He even helped to build a fence in Bay City, Oregon. As we really got into the flow, Brent would volunteer at food banks and soup kitchens in the towns we passed through. It was beautiful to see his dedication and devotion to be of service.

Early in the trip in Washington, we stopped for some time in Port Townsend where I had received three pallets of books to distribute. Here he helped me to distribute these books. It is also here that I, under great stress, lost my compassion and Brent dealt with the side of me that he’s seen before while I’m under stress. I mourn some of my communication and my lack of compassion and warmth.

When I asked him for feedback, he said I was “short,” “kind of a dick,” my way of speaking was condescending, and it seemed I was operating from ego. This is all valid. He stayed with me and because he is one to understand people rather than to create enemy images of them, he held compassion for me, knowing I was doing the best I could (read my Letter of Mourning for more on this). Although he said “kind of a dick,” he and I both know that we are all human beings struggling and trying and that nobody is actually a “dick.” This is just an easy way to relay the information, and we understood each other. He stayed with me and he supported me to the best of his ability.

He shared feedback with me about my interactions with some of our hosts and with some of the people we met and I felt a lot of pain hearing it. It was a wake-up call for how much growing I still have to do. I am grateful to Brent for being willing to share feedback with me when he could have easily avoided it.

I said this is a homage to Brent, yet I have talked a fair bit about me. But what Brent is, is his love, service and devotion to everyone he is with. Brent isn’t spending his days trying too hard to be somebody. He is trying to enrich the lives of the people he is with, while also enjoying his life thoroughly and walking his path. Brent has deeply enriched my life. Together we have walked a long path and we’ve enjoyed it through the highs and lows.

While the original idea was to perhaps only walk to Washington, when the Oregon border was on the horizon, he knew that he was not done walking. And together we walked all the way down the coast of Oregon and into Northern California, 700 miles. Many days we walked side by side and many days we walked solo. There was even a week where we were ten miles apart, walking just a half-day away. We are two highly independent humans who value autonomy greatly. We walked with a balance of autonomy and being with each other, with a higher level of fluidity than either of us had imagined.

In Crescent City, Brent decided he was ready to continue on the adventure in his own way, going further down into California and beyond. And now I walk alone. But of course, I am not alone. The 700 miles we did together are the foundation of this trip and every step I take forward will be steps of gratitude and love for my Dear Friend Brent.

You can follow Brent Saeli on Instagram @SocietyofSmiles and societyofsmiles.com

Oh, and about Brent’s laugh. There are few people I have ever laughed so deeply and so consistently with. We had some laughs that were so healing, so warming, so transcending of the mundane. Brent has a laugh that spreads joy in a contagious manner. I can’t imagine people becoming unhappy in Brent’s presence, except in very rare circumstances. If you have not yet, I hope that one day you get to be in the presence of Brent’s laughter and joy. And for those of you who have met Brent, I am sure you remember this laugh as well as I do.