Truth Talk: Non-Ownership Experiment Update Week 7 & Vipassana
Truth Talk: Non-Ownership Experiment Update Week 7 & Vipassana
Transcript
The following is a transcription of Non-Ownership Experiment Update Week 7 & Vipassana, which is part of Robin’s “Truth Talks” series during his experiment in non-ownership.
For the full series and depth to this practice, visit: The Experiment in Non-Ownership – Robin Greenfield in Los Angeles.
So originally today my intention was to share a talk just about my experience at Vipassana. I’m feeling not quite like diving just into Vipassana, and the reality is I’m not feeling exceptionally long-winded in my speaking. So what I’d rather do is speak for a little while, just sharing about the experience overall of the experiment of non-ownership and then just open up to questions — just anything you’re curious about or any questions that you have. How does that sound to everybody?
“Brilliant!”
Is anybody majorly disappointed about not diving too deep into Vipassana?
“Perfect!”
Student: “Have you all done Vipassanas? That’s like maybe the limit of my curiosity.”
Yeah. Has anyone here done a Vipassana? Oh, okay, you’ve done a Vipassana? Four of them? Four? Nice! I’m glad to hear that. We can talk about that after.
What I’d like to do is — today’s day 50, I believe — of the experiment of non-ownership, of owning nothing. So basically, I’m seven weeks into the experiment, so you know, a good amount of time of owning nothing. There’s been some … definitely some challenges, and there’s definitely been some real ease and comfort and joy. So basically, the first ten days of the experiment of non-ownership were right here in Griffith Park. That was, you know, I arrived here having walked from Canada, gave away everything that I owned, and then it was a very … you know, the beginning was six days a week, I was hosting gatherings here, and I borrowed about six items total. It was surprisingly very smooth; it was one of the happiest, most balanced weeks of my life. I was just very in the present moment and just feeling really, really, really grateful.
I remember being quite surprised that I wasn’t feeling a lot of anxiety or stress having just given away everything I own, including my money. So, and then after ten days, I got a ride; I was whisked away to the desert to do a Vipassana meditation, and the idea was that — welcome! The idea was that — come join us — I would be there for five weeks. There are many reasons why I chose to do a Vipassana, but the timing of a Vipassana was ideal because, as far as a way to very easily practice non-ownership, the Vipassana meditation is really perfect.
I arrived there wearing just the clothes on my back, which I was borrowing from the person who gave me a ride. I walked into the Vipassana center, I went to the spare clothing closet, I put on clothes from the spare clothing closet, gave her her clothes back, and I was now here where I would be for the next five weeks with nothing from the outside world — nothing to remind me of the outside world except, of course, our minds. Wherever we go, there we are, and I was very there. You bring all your memories, all yourself, all your stuff, all of it. But at least, you know, you’ve maybe heard the saying,”I, me, mine.” “No I, no me, no mine.” Well, I had no mine; I had no possessions whatsoever.
So the idea was working on dissolving the I and the me. I had done the work to dissolve the mind, and so it was a really just ideal location to be able to practice that. Your lodging is taken care of; your food is taken care of; you’re meditating, the idea is about ten hours a day; you’re in silence; you’re just…you’re not doing anything except meditating, being, eating, sleeping. So it’s the most — one of the most utter simplest of being that you possibly can, and it’s so facilitated by the Vipassana center. It’s designed that way so that we can go deep inside of ourselves. So that was a success; just arriving there in itself was a success, and being there with nothing from the outside world was a success in dissolving some of the self, some of the ego, some of the attachments. Just being there was a big release, a big, you know, yeah, release of the tension and the stress and all of that.
And so there I was. I took some notes.
So, at Vipassana — being there for five weeks, there would be …
“Welcome, glad you’re here,”
“Good to be here.”
There would be no contact with the outside world. So no phone — when you arrive at Vipassana, if you have a phone with you, you turn it in and they’ll give it back to you at the end of the ten days. So no phone, no computer, no emails, no calls, no texts, no social media. The idea was that I could just check out from the world for awhile.
And, a big part of my objective was just to take a sort of a hiatus and a sort of a sabbatical from being myself. Now, that was quickly — I quickly had a little bit of a hiccup with that one. So I’m at the opening, you know, on the first day you can chat with people if you want to. I always try not to talk because I don’t — I don’t want to know who anybody is. I’m there to not exist; I’m there to have no stories; I’m there to exist as an island inside of myself, and I’m walking out of the room where we check in and I hear someone go, “Robin?” I turn around, and this guy’s like, “I’ve been following you for ten years on social media,” and I’m like, “Ah, wonderful! Wonderful! See you in ten days!” I just, you know, I made a very quick work of it.
I was, like, I’m an island within myself. I’m not going to know anyone. So then dinner comes, and he comes over to me, and I’m, like, I’m just sitting looking at the wall. He’s like, “Can I ask you some questions?” And I was like, “Sure.” I mean, he’s been following me for ten years; I’m not going to say no. I have a strong enough mind that I can, you know, meet him and spend some time and then go into my silence. So I do.
There was already a slight hiccup in this idea, but we’d be silent for the next ten days, so it would be fine. I’ll get back to that.
But why have no contact with the outside world? “Hello helicopter!” It’s kind of enjoyable to watch the helicopter stream sometimes.
A few reasons to have no contact with the outside world — now, some people would be like, “Yeah, okay, I understand you’re going to meditate, but why no contact with the outside world?” By having no contact, it allows you to really exist in the present moment. You get to forget that anything else is happening and just be there without the distractions. So that’s the other part; it’s just a removing of all the distractions, creating the space where you can be focused.
And for me, it’s also a respite from the chaos of the world — just not needing to have any of that. You’re in this safe space where you can just take a total respite and let your adrenal system relax. So, Vipassana meditation is a very deep practice; it is the direct teachings of the Buddha, passed down for over 2,500 years. It’s the teachings of how to become enlightened, how to become fully enlightened.
Now, it’s not that you will become fully enlightened in ten days; that’s not the idea at all. They talk about you probably won’t become fully enlightened in your lifetime, and they — you know, in Buddhism, there’s the belief in, you know, multiple lives; it’ll take many lifetimes. It’s not something you get in ten days. However, you can make a lot of progress in ten days.
So it’s the direct teachings of the Buddha on how to become enlightened. Other ways of saying ‘becoming enlightened’ are to become a master of our own mind, to become the master of our own lives. Another way to put it is mental liberation, or a way that I like to put it is the reprogramming of the mind. The idea is that we’re removing all the things that are not serving us.
We grow up in this society that programs us full of all sorts of societal norms and societal structures, belief systems, dogmas, for some rights and rituals, etc., that are the opposite of existing in a liberated state. The real — it’s instead, it’s a very state designed around getting us to, you know, follow the status quo and the norms often at our own expense.
So, one of the big concepts — some people would say, “Well, why sit and meditate? Why don’t you do something? It’s our actions that matter.” The belief is that all of our actions and our words stem from our thoughts, and I truly believe this. What we do isn’t — it’s not starting out here; it’s starting inside here.
So the idea of Vipassana is that we’re going deep inside of our mind, deeply observing our own mind, understanding our own mind, and reprogramming our own mind. By starting here, then we will change our words and our actions. And so, you know, a simple concept of that, like if you lash out and you, you know, you punch someone, you punch someone because of the thoughts that you had first.
And so the idea is if you want to overcome anger, you overcome it inside of yourself through the purification of the mind.
Vipassana means to see things as they truly are. So that is observation; the way you see things as they truly are is through observation.
And then a big part of it is suffering. You know, so many of us are suffering, whether it’s anxiety or overwhelm or stress or mental fatigue or anger or sadness or depression — all of these are forms of suffering. And so the idea, a big part of it is to overcome this suffering and instead fill our lives with joy, with happiness, with love, with presence, with empathy.
One thing that I wanted to say is that with me, like talking about this, some would say, “Well, okay, here you are talking about dissolving the ego, but here you, you are talking about it.” And so some would say, “Isn’t that a very egoic thing to be doing?” And I understand that, and it can be. However, the only way that we’ll ever understand our minds is if we think — is if we actually observe our own minds.
So it requires actually using our own ego in order to dissolve our own ego. We have to be willing to actually go to all these places, which means ultimately we have to spend hundreds or — not hundreds — thousands of hours thinking about ourselves in order to free ourselves of ourselves, and that can be very challenging.
But I embrace that because I — I believe in these teachings. And so for me, the reason that I’m so happy and willing to deeply observe my own mind and talk about it with others is because it’s an invitation to go inside of your own mind.
So we are today going inside of my mind, but the intention is for others — for you to go inside of your own mind through this stimulation of thought and through learning about this practice.
So for me in my life, I, you know, I go to Vipassana; this is my third year of doing Vipassana, and I go there with intentions. Now, if you were — if you went there with no intentions, you would be far more enlightened than I am, but then you wouldn’t need to be going to Vipassana. If you already had no intent, if you were able to go there with no needs, then you’d already be enlightened probably.
But the idea, the best thing you can do when going to Vipassana is not have expectations and not have a particular agenda; just go there and practice the practice. But for me, a big thing that I, when I started Vipassana, it was to create a balance in my life; to create healthy, wholesome relationships.
So for me, some of the big ones that I’ve been working on are food: just eating food that nurtures me and nourishes me and not eating more than I need; sleep and rest: getting enough sleep and rest; I would not get enough sleep and rest. Why? Because, you know, I had so much going on, I had so much that I wanted, and sleep and rest would be put on the back burner to it: productivity and over-commitment. I have a mission, but so often my mission is less effective because I am not, you know, taking care of myself and having that right balance. Online communication, you know, just over-usage of social media — constant checking, checking way more than needed.
And then relationships, you know, communication — I’ve had a lot of struggles in my life with communication — with friends, with colleagues, with family, with romantic partners, with any human being, basically.
And then, this is something that’s not really too existing now since I’m taking a long break from sexual involvement, but sex has been a big part of wanting to have, you know, a balance and deeply nurturing relationships, but certainly sexual thoughts — that’s still an area that I’m working on a lot.
And then also just the baseline anxiety, frustration, irritation, agitation that I have felt for much of my life. So going to Vipassana, part of the intention is to work on these aspects.
So what I learned at Vipassana and my first Vipassana is all of these areas in which I have an imbalance, what’s happening is I have cravings. I’m wanting something — when I’m constantly checking the internet, it’s a craving. When I am eating more than I need and then I have a stomachache, it’s because of a craving. When I’m trying to be super productive, it’s a craving.
And so many of us would think that the craving is for that particular thing, but the practice teaches that it’s actually an addiction to craving. It’s not the — it’s not the physical aspect or the particular thing; it’s an overall addiction to just craving something.
So you realize that all of these, all of these many challenges, you know, issues, problems, sufferings that we have, at the bottom is just this general addiction to cravings or aversion. And if you work on that at the root level, that’s the purification — the concept of purifying the mind at the root level; these things can dissolve without having to work — without having to go to a camp that teaches me how to eat.
Instead, you just overcome the general cravings, and those things can start to dissolve. For example, sex: the reason that I said that’s not an issue because after my very first Vipassana, it’s been two-and-a-half years and I haven’t — I haven’t had sex. I haven’t wanted to have sex, and it’s just like that’s a craving that just largely dissolved through the practice.
And there’s other work that I’ve been doing to become whole and complete, but that’s the reason that I continue going back — is because it’s been very effective at helping me to do that. And so, if you’re not existing in a place of cravings and aversions, then — so the — like when you purify the mind — sort of the belief I would say is that what naturally arises is inner peace.
Inner peace isn’t something that you necessarily have to create; it’s by removing all of the barriers that we have created that it’ll arise inside of yourself. So Rumi, for example, the poet, he said that you don’t — the objective isn’t to go out and find love; it’s to remove all the barriers that you have made, and then the love will just exist. It’s already inside of us; we just have to remove all the barriers that we’ve made.
So this is very in alignment with that. So, you know, when purifying the mind, that’s going to — for me, my objective is to exist in content, you know, contentedness, in joy and happiness — to be in the present moment, to be whole and complete, to do things mindfully.
So one of the practices that I do when I get into this is — now this is actually from Thich Nhat Hanh — but to chew each bite of food 30 times, which you’re not supposed to practice any other practices while you’re at Vipassana, but I think that one’s okay just to chew each bite 30 times.
Because Vipassana is the direct teaching of the Buddha, the idea is to keep the pure teachings intact and just do that –just do this one thing, not mix it up with a whole bunch of other things. But yeah, so, and then also, so, yeah, just being mindful with everything that I do — knowing that I’m doing it — that’s what mindfulness is: that you know that you’re doing what you’re doing; you observe it, you see it.
And then other things would be: existing in a state of gratitude, universal love — which when you dissolve the hatred and the judgment and the enemy images and the belief of right and wrong and good and bad, then, you know, that dissolves. As you dissolve those things away, a state of universal love is more of a natural state of being.
Being of service is definitely a big part of it: just the natural arising of a desire to contribute to the well-being of others. If you dissolve your ego, the idea is that you desire to contribute to others rather than just meet your own desires.
And then, two other aspects are dissolving the separateness, so the belief that we are individual entities and realizing that we’re actually all interconnectedness. So realizing that interconnectedness is another part of it. There are many different aspects, and they’re all pretty interconnected.
So, but at this point, you might say, “Well, but how, you know, what is the actual practice of Vipassana?” And it’s very, very simple. One of, I would say, the biggest challenges for people is they want — they expect it to be so much more, but it’s really, really simple.
So the practice is — well, actually, I’m going to read from the pamphlet that they give because I really like the idea of just sharing some of their words directly.
This is an introduction to the technique:
“Vipassana is one of India’s most ancient meditation techniques. Long lost to humanity, it was rediscovered by Gautama the Buddha more than 2,500 years ago. Vipassana means seeing things as they really are. It is the process of self-purification by self-observation. One begins by observing the natural breath to concentrate the mind. With a sharpened awareness, one proceeds to observe the changing nature of body and mind and experiences the universal truths of impermanence, suffering, and egolessness.
“This truth realization by direct experience is the process of purification. The entire path is a universal remedy for universal problems and has nothing to do with any organized religion or sectarianism. For this reason, it can be practiced freely by everyone at any time, in any place without conflict due to race, community, or religion, and it will prove equally beneficial to one and all.
“Vipassana meditation aims at the highest spiritual goals of total liberation and full enlightenment. Its purpose is never simply to cure physical diseases; however, as a byproduct of mental purification, many psychosomatic diseases are eradicated. In fact, Vipassana eliminates the three causes of all unhappiness: craving, aversion, and ignorance. With continued practice, the meditation releases the tensions developed in everyday life, opening the knots tied by the old habit of reacting in an unbalanced way to pleasant and unpleasant situations.
“Although Vipassana was developed as a technique by the Buddha, its practice is not limited to Buddhists; therefore, there is absolutely no question of conversion. All human beings share the same fundamental problems, and a technique which can eradicate these problems will have a universal application.
“What Vipassana is not: it’s not a rite or ritual, blind faith. It’s neither an intellectual nor a philosophical entertainment; it’s not a rest cure, a holiday, or an opportunity for socializing. It’s not an escape from the trials and tribulations of everyday life.” (Although I use it slightly as an escape from the trials and tribulations of everyday life.)
“What Vipassana is: a technique that will eradicate suffering; a method of mental purification which allows one to face life’s tensions and problems in a calm and balanced way; and an art of living that one can use to make positive contributions to society.”
So while you’re there, you take this — the code of discipline — which, there’s the five precepts. The foundation of the practice is sila, moral conduct. Sila provides a basis for the development of samadhi, concentration of the mind, and purification of the mind is achieved through Ponyo, the wisdom of insight.
So the precepts: all who attend a Vipassana course must conscientiously undertake the following five precepts for the duration of the course:
1. To abstain from killing any being.
“Hello Friends!”
“Hello!”
“We’re glad you’re here! Join us.”
2. To abstain from stealing.
3. To abstain from all sexual activity.
4. To abstain from telling lies.
5. To abstain from all intoxicants.
These are the precepts while you’re there for the ten days. It doesn’t mean that you have to believe that these are the right things for you in your life, but that’s the practice during those ten days, and anybody who goes there agrees to these precepts.
For old students, you also agree to abstain from eating after midday, to abstain from sensual entertainment and bodily decoration. So you’re just living super simply; you’re not doing any — any, you’re not, you know, you’re not doing any of that other stuff. And then also, this one’s funny: to abstain from using high or luxurious beds, which is like old-school language, I think; you know, this is an old practice.
But basically, you don’t have fancy stuff while you’re there; it’s just very simple. So that kind of gives you the idea of the setting that you’re in.
So you’re observing noble silence. So for the entire ten days, you’re not talking to anyone else. Except the teacher, if you have questions, and the idea is to keep that to a minimum that’s needed, or the student manager if you’re needing help with something in your room or, you know, something like that.
But otherwise, noble silence means not actually even looking at someone, not making any gestures. You’re there to be an island inside of yourself, an island within yourself.
So the basic practice is ten hours a day of silent meditation. And, you start by observing the breath. So I won’t be teaching, how to do the meditation, and they actually request that nobody does teach that because they very strongly believe that — and I completely agree — that you need to … learning this from me is not what you — isn’t gonna … isn’t going to do it.
It’s the deep, deep practice through the entire being there at the site, doing all of the precepts. And plus the meditation technique. Did you have something you wanted to say?
“I think I agree with the spirit of that, because it’s, like, unless you’re in an environment that’s really going to change your habit, then that’s the point. But I also, like, any calamity could occur where these infrastructures collapse, and at that point, I mean, to me, it’s like this is the best option. But if I’m ever in a situation where that’s not available, I still demonstrate.”
Yeah, so, I don’t know. It’s — well, everybody has their own way of, you know, everyone can make their own choices. So basically, it’s that you start with Anapana meditation, which is just observation of the breath.
So basically, you know, if I’m doing that, I am observing my breath. So I am not — it’s not a breathing exercise or a breathing technique; I am not intentionally breathing at a certain rate. It’s just observing the natural breath. So I’m just observing the breath. So I’m just going to observe a few breaths for a moment.
Mind wanders, I simply bring it back to the breath. And then when it wanders again — which might be one second or maybe five seconds, but probably not much more than that — so maybe ten seconds, I simply bring it back to the breath. And the practice is you’re observing the breath, and then you just bring it back to the breath, and the idea is not — you don’t get frustrated or angry when you lose it.
You just say, “and so it is.” And then you just go back to observation of the breath. And so for the first couple of days, that’s it — ten hours a day of just observing the breath; that’s it — very, very simple — just an observation of the breath.
And then, so yeah, a common thing is to say, “My mind has wandered and so it is” — whatever it is, whatever the thoughts are, whatever the emotions are, whatever the experiences — just, “My mind has wandered and so it is.” Bring it back to the breath.
After a few days, then it’s opened up to this area, the triangle between your nose and your upper lip, and you start to feel the sensation — at first just the sensation created by your breath. And so part of the idea of this is that you’re really focusing the mind — just really working on focusing the mind.
And so then, for, yeah, a few days in about day three, you start to feel the sensations that are created by your breath, which is basically, you know, breathing — just the — it could be the warm air coming out or the cool air going in. You know, just air on the nostrils.
And then after … then it’s opened up to where you can actually start to feel sensations, which could be a fly landing here, or it could be a little zing or a tickle or a sweat coming down, or a pain, or hot or cold or whatever — whatever it is, any sensation that you experience — you just observe that, and you don’t — you don’t have to even label it; you just observe it; you just feel the sensation.
So the idea is that you’re — the idea is in this stage, you’re just really concentrating the mind — really concentrating the mind. And that’s why I mentioned, like, being at the center is so important, and they do all the cooking, and you know, you have a simple place. You don’t have anything to do except do this — you’re just deeply concentrating the mind.
So after — so, this is very hard work; it’s not easy, you know, especially if you’re doing it ten hours a day like it’s suggested, which you’re a master of your own self, so they’re not coming and making sure you’re doing it for ten hours a day. Three hours a day, you’re in the group meditation, and then for about four or five hours max you’re — in the room, but the rest of the time you can be meditating in the hall or in your own room, and in most centers, they’re not checking.
You have to be a master of your own mind, and you get out of this as much as you put into it. So it’s very, very hard work, and this is taught by S.N. Goenka, who passed away about 20 years ago, but he’s still the teacher.
There’s, through recordings, the assistant teacher just helps facilitate a little bit, but all the teachings come through the recordings. And each night there’s a — there’s a lecture or a dharma talk where you learn some of the philosophy of it and the practice.
But so Goenka is talking throughout a lot of this, and you’ll hear him say, you know, when you’re doing this, just — I mean, probably a thousand times throughout the ten days, he’ll say, you know, “With a calm and quiet mind, with an alert and attentive mind … ”
To student: “I can see … you’re smiling.”
Student: “Patiently and persistently — patiently and persistently.”
Diligently, ardently, with a vigilant mind.
So we’re not talking about vacation; we’re talking about a vigilant mind. So we’re talking about penetrating the depth of our minds. So it’s very hard work.
So then around day four, you move from anapana to Vipassana, and this is observing the sensations throughout the entire body. And so it starts with the top of the head, and you start to feel a sensation at the top of the head.
And once you feel a sensation, then you would move down to the forehead, then to the — no, the eyes, the nose, the cheeks, the — the ears, the lips, down to the, you know, the shoulders, down the upper arm, the lower arm, the hands, the fingers, then to the next arm, then to the front of the body, then to the back of the body, then to the leg — one leg down to the toes, the other leg down to the toes.
And so you’re just — you’re moving from spot to spot, observing the sensations. So the prior three or four days have concentrated the mind where you can actually start to feel the sensations that exist, and the idea is that every part of us at every given moment has sensations — we’re just — we’re just clueless to them.
We just exist in a way where we are so out of touch with our body, but you start to tap into these sensations, and not that you’re creating sensations — they are there — and you’re starting to be able to feel them. A sensation is any sensation on the body, so it could be a ticklish sensation; it could be pain, you’re going to — you know, lots of pain sitting in meditation — the legs, the back, the arms, or the butt, you know, lots and lots of pain.
It could be perspiration; it could be, again, a fly landing on you; it could be tingling or sort of like a vibration or zings — there’s dozens of sensations; any sensation, you just feel that, and you don’t have to label it — you don’t have to know what it is — and then you move on.
And so the idea is you start to get deeper and deeper into being able to observe sensations, and it becomes easier to experience them. And so a big part of it is always remembering that all sensations are impermanent. Every sensation is impermanent. Anicha is what he says like a thousand times: Anicha, impermanent, impermanent, impermanent.
So you’re not becoming attached to the pleasant sensations, and you’re not feeling an aversion to the unpleasant sensations; you’re just always saying, “This is a sensation; it’s impermanent; let’s see how long it lasts.” It will come; it will go.
You’re practicing being equanimous — equal to. Another way of saying that is “And so it is,” or “This too shall pass.” If it’s pain, it’s pain. If it’s a blissful sensation, it’s a blissful sensation. And you just say, “This will — let’s see how long it lasts. This will pass.” I’m not going to love it or hate it; it just is. That’s what equanimity is.
So it’s changing — observing the changing that is existing.
To student: “I thought maybe you saw the coyote.”
So arising and passing away, arising and passing away. And so what at the beginning feels like unbearable pain — generally what happens is it starts to arise and pass away. You feel the pain, and then it’s, like, “Huh, the pain is no longer there,” because you’re not creating the mental suffering around it. So that’s … a big part of this is … they call them “sankaras.” I almost liken it to traumas. Things come up when you’re doing this — things come up. A lot comes up — thoughts can come up, but also pains can come up and some sensations on the body. And so, the idea is that whenever this stuff is coming up, you’re practicing equanimity, and you’re just going back to observing the sensations on the body.
And that’s the real measure of success: that you’re just going back to observing the sensations on the body. So another way of putting the “sankaras” is mental conditioning. I mentioned that at the beginning — working to overcome these mental conditionings.
So if you can, like in the moment, overcome pain in this moment and just say, “And so it is,” the idea is when you go back out into the real world and you have these strong feelings, you don’t react to them.
The whole thing is it’s about not reacting — just observing it. So for me, like on day five, an example of the distraction of the minds and how … so it brings things up. One of the things that it brought up for me a lot was a lot of childhood and a lot — a lot of thinking about sex actually, and just a — a lot of sexual thoughts, which is considered to be one of the deepest-seated thoughts … urges in a human being, so it makes sense that you — we would have that.
And so, so much of my earlier life that’s what I spent my time thinking about all day long every day.
Student: “Venus and Libra?”
I don’t know.
Student: “I think so.”
So, uh, lots — for me, a lot of the things that kept coming up were that. And sometimes I’d get totally lost in it — I actually took a 30-minute — I would guess, tour of my house when I was about nine years old — every room of the house I walked through and just looked at what VHS tapes were there and, like, where I’d be sitting and, like, literally took, like, an in-depth half-hour tour of my entire childhood house.
Just, you know, so that’s stuff coming up, but it’s also the mind’s way of distracting you, not doing the work. And so the job is to always come back. Sometimes you just go for — you just go, you don’t come back, but then you always come back. With that one in particular I said, “I have ten days here, I’m going to take this tour of my house.” It was a very interesting experience.
But so, you know, the mental conditioning — a lot of that can be suffering or trauma, and in this third Vipassana, I realized I have more childhood trauma than I thought — more sexual, like, young developing sexual trauma than I thought. Not major, but there; meaningful, there. And so that was an area that — and it’s not that you work on it; it’s not that you say, “Okay, I’m going to work on this trauma.” No, you do — you just go back to observing the sensations. And if you observe the sensations without reacting, the idea is that it will release, and so the idea is, the more that you do that, the more you can release, and the more you can come out of there just lighter. You release the weight, you release the burdens, you release the trauma, the suffering, the sankaras, and you come out lighter. And that’s something that I definitely experience a lot of.
Day five, you start what’s called the strong sits of determination, which is where for the entire hour you don’t open your eyes, which you never — you never really do, but, you make a strong determination that for the entire hour, you don’t open your eyes; you don’t open your hands — whatever position you start with, and you don’t open your legs.
So whatever position that you start with, you keep that for an entire hour. That’s the strong sit of determination. It’s not about any particular position. You take whatever position you want; the idea is to be comfortable. It’s not about anything like this or Lotus or half-Lotus. You can be in a chair, you can have your legs out. The key is to be comfortable — not suffer. It’s not about creating mental pain and suffering. That’s going to happen; you don’t need to create more of that.
So yes, it’s a big — so it’s about determination — the strong sits of determination — self-control, dedication. And so a lot of what he often says is continuity — continuity of practice is the secret of success.
So that’s what you’re doing — just continuously practicing. And equanimity is — purity is — is a big part of it — that if you can be equanimous — that’s the purification of the mind; that’s the overcoming of the suffering.
So, yeah, a few other notes on that.
So in the — in the practice, it’s the observing without reacting, and then in the outside world, once we come to the outside world, then it’s whatever comes outside of us — the things that people say, the things that we see, the feelings that we have, what happens to us. Then that’s our opportunity to practice equanimity at every — at every given moment, moment by moment — remembering that everything is impermanent and being able to say, “This too shall pass.” Observe it and say, “Let’s see how long this lasts.” I’m feeling depressed; let’s see how long this lasts. I’m feeling blissful; let’s see how long this lasts. I’m feeling — I’m seeing how irritated I am at this person; let’s see how long this lasts — and saying, “And so it is.”
So a big part of this is embracing that we make all meaning inside of ourselves — that’s a huge part of this: realizing that whatever thoughts we have, we create those thoughts. Whatever feelings we have, we create those feelings. Taking full responsibility that all meaning is made inside of ourselves — all the stories are made inside of our own minds.
And so all suffering is inside of the mind. So, yeah, a way that that’s put is … there’s the thing that’s outside of us; we then recognize it, which is evaluate it; we judge it; we tell our story about it. Then the idea is that a sensation arises on the body, and then we react to that. That’s the standard thing that’s going on. That’s our conditioning. We overcome that by … the thing happens, we receive it. Instead of evaluating it, making a story, saying it’s good or bad, what-have-you –we just observe it objectively. We just say, “It is; the grass is green.” I don’t love it or hate it. The grass is just green, whatever it may be. Then there’s no sensation that’s generated, if we just observe it objectively. No emotion, no sensation, then we have no reaction. So that’s what we’re doing at the deepest level through that purification.
So back into the Vipassana, what happens is — and so everybody has different experiences — but what happens is you start to be able to feel subtle sensations throughout the entire body. And some people, this might take — they might experience this on day five or six or seven or eight or nine, and some people it might take two Vipassanas or three Vipassanas, or some people might not.
But generally, what happens is you start to be able to feel subtle sensations throughout the entire body at once. And it feels really, really, really good! Generally. Most people love it. Because you no longer are feeling any pain. Instead, it’s just this subtle vibration, this, like, energy.
And so now the objective is — is that you don’t start to crave that, because that’s the opposite of overcoming our cravings and aversions, and that’s what keeps us in the trap. So, you experience it.
So I liken it to — it’s almost like you can feel your entire body at once. Your entire existence at once. And so, what happens is — I liken it to, you know, many of you are probably familiar with, you know, psychedelics — they create an out-of-body experience; it’s kind of like you don’t exist. Well, with this, it’s kind of like you have created such a — you have been so intentional with an in-the-body experience. Remember, all you’ve done is observe your sensations and nothing outside of you.
It’s such a strong in-the-body experience that it almost creates — you feel your whole body at once. It’s almost like your whole body starts to dissolve. I’ll just speak for my own self instead of saying “you.” For me, it’s like my whole body … I feel it at once, and then it’s gone. It’s almost like you tap into the energy that is everything, is one way to put it. Everybody would have different ways of putting this. But, you know, I’m sitting there and I’m feeling my entire body existing at once, but then the boundary of what’s out there and what’s within ceases to exist and what happens for me is, I start to feel that I am the universe.
It’s almost like I cease to exist, and I just see this emptiness. At the same time it’s a fullness, it’s an emptiness. And it’s a very, very healing experience. It’s a very profound experience. And, again at that time, what happens is … the objective — the instructions are — you experience it, and you say, “And so it is.” You don’t love it, which is hard, because this is what so much of us are pursuing in life: this bliss, this out-of-bodyness, this, you know, it’s,like, it’s such an ambition.
But you get there, and you just say, “Oh, here it is! Let’s see how long it lasts.” And then when it goes away, which it will — it always does — you say, “Oh, it’s impermanent!” You know. There it was, and now it’s gone. And you don’t cling to it. You don’t crave it.
And you don’t say, “Okay, in the next meditation, I’m going to get that back.” And if you don’t have it, then you get depressed or disheartened or deflated; instead, you just — because the key is that you’re equanimous.
That’s the real measure of your success of the practice, is equanimity.
So, it’s an interesting thing, because at the beginning, I talked about how right now I’m doing this experiment of non-ownership. And by having nothing, I have no mind. You know, I mentioned there’s the I, the me, and the mind. By having no mind, that’s one of the steps of dissolving the ego, dissolving the self and existing in that more universal, interconnected state.
This is the other big part of that, like, there is no ‘mine,’ and then through this there’s the dissolution of the ‘I’ and the ‘me,’ and it is, yeah, it’s … for me, it’s deeply profound, deeply healing. And it’s deeply effective at overcoming all of these outside cravings that I have.
So it’s been — for me to do this Vipassana was a very ideal time in pairing with this experiment of non-ownership.
Another thing that I want to say, you know, if you look into astrophysics, basically they say that there is no physical matter — that like a table is actually more empty space than it is solid space. And that a wall really isn’t a wall unless we believe that it’s a wall — that it’s actually just empty space. Yet we can’t kick the wall and not expect to be in pain.
But the science says that it is just empty — that it’s all more empty than it is actual physical.
I would say that what I experience in Vipassana, in dissolving the physical and mental structure, is basically the experiential practice of what astrophysics tells us — that we don’t exist in the way that we actually think we do. You — we are, we are impermanent, changing phenomena. At every single moment we are — we as individuals are arising and passing away. Goenka gives the example that a candle flame — at every given moment it’s a new flame. It seems to be one flame, but at every given moment, it’s a new flame. And the same with lights on in our house.
And the reason we know that for a fact is because we don’t turn on the light and then just never have to pay a bill. At the end of each month we have a bill for the amount of time we had the light on because they’re sending us electricity every given moment. Electricity is creating this new light and this new light and this new light.
And what we tap into is that that’s the same thing that’s happening here: we are an impermanent, changing phenomenon, and it’s incredibly profound. But what Vipassana is is that we experience that. And so that’s wisdom. That’s the teaching — that’s what they talk about as wisdom — that we experience our non-existence and our impermanence, and that’s a really big part of the teaching of the Buddha on how to … on becoming fully enlightened. When we realize that we’re basically — in many ways — sort of an illusion, is the way that I would put it. And then once we realize that, a lot of the suffering goes away, because it’s like, “Well, I’m just an impermanent, changing phenomenon; I’m just this mass of bubbles, of these particles.” Then there’s a lot less attachment and a lot less of a need to control everything.
So I want to say that, I am still very new to the practice of Vipassana. This was my third Vipassana, and it’s a very profound practice for me. It’s very beneficial, and it’s something that I highly recommend to others.
I was going to talk about — so I was there for — I was planning to be there for three sessions that are ten days. One sit — that’s the the meditation I just talked about — then a serve where I would be a server, facilitating the space, so that, the people could be there. It’s all volunteer-run, so I would be working in the kitchen.
That didn’t end up happening. I ended up being the student manager, but that’s a whole long story, and I won’t dive into that because that was pretty long of speaking in itself.
But, the — so the second session, I ended up being the student manager, which was a beautiful opportunity for me to practice a lot of the things that I desire to practice right now. I ended up being the one that my job was to practice loving, compassionate communication with the 30 or so students who would be, you know, breaking the rules that I would have to enforce or just how, you know, just helping them to get the most out of their practice just by being — being a positive influence and, helping them along with the basics. Not teaching anything, just being there to help them make sure that they have their basic needs met and helping them to see the teacher when needed.
That’s a whole story in itself, but I won’t go into that. So, but in closing, as far as the Vipassana, I would say I don’t agree with everything that the Dharma organization, you know, believes, and I leave those things aside, because I — I have a deep level of respect for the organization and a deep level of respect for the practice, and I benefit so much from this practice.
So it’s a practice that I highly recommend. So if anyone is, you know, interested in going, one of my recommendations is, you know, just take from it what sits with you and what will benefit you in this path in life in the areas, not, you know, you can leave those to the side.
I write on my website about Vipassana. If you go to robingreenfield.org/Vipassana, that’s where I write some of the details of, like, the areas that are not in full alignment for me. But not in a — not in a negative way, but just in a — you know, just in the experience.
So take the good, leave the rest if you don’t agree with it all. And one thing that I really love about Vipassana is that it’s donation-based, so it’s very accessible.
I’ve met many people where it’s been one of the most meaningful things they’ve done to make substantial changes in their lives, and, it’s donation-based, and no donation is even required, and you’re not allowed to make a donation until the Vipassana is done.
So there, there is no accepting someone based on how much they will donate; it’s just whoever signs up first. So if you’re really wanting to do this, the key is, the day that the — that it opens is to fill out your application at 7 a.m. on the day that it opens — that’s your, you know, most likely way to get in.
Student: “And, if you don’t get in, a perfect chance to not be craving — start the practice!”
Yes. So on that note, I would love to take an opportunity to answer a few questions if the — if anybody has any questions. We could start with Vipassana first, and then, if there’s any other questions that stem, I would be happy to answer those. And maybe, maybe we’ll take about ten minutes of questions or so before we just spend some time together and enjoy our … each other’s company.
How’s that sound?
“Nice!”
And you’re going to keep recording for the questions, right?
“Yeah, I just didn’t have ….”
Yeah, good.
“It might — I might need to change the battery on the second.”
Sounds good.
“Okay, I’ll just do that. It’s recording now.”
Great. So any questions come to mind for anyone?
“Yeah, I’ve done a fair amount of breath watching — not for that long of time — and the hardest thing for me is letting go of control. I find if I’m with the breath, then I’m controlling the breath, as opposed to being back and just watching.”
Yep, so my job as the student manager was anybody who asked a question like that was … my job was to say, “Talk to the teacher about that.” I’ve been implicitly told not to teach how to do this, and I respect that because I don’t really know. I mean, I know how to do it myself, but I am — I’m not, yeah, I’m … so as far as the technique or anything like that, that I leave to going to a Vipassana and diving into the practice.
And one other thing that I did want to mention real quick — I forgot. I was giving a little overview of the 40 — the seven weeks of non-ownership. I ended up — I only ended up spending two of the ten days there. I decided to leave and not do my third session, which would have been a serve.
The reason why is that integrity is the most important thing for me right now, and there were certain elements that I wasn’t able to be in full integrity while serving there. One being, they require you to wear shoes, and I just — I wasn’t — you know, I wasn’t willing to wear shoes. I wasn’t willing to follow some of the rules, and I said I have such a level of respect for this organization that if I’m here, I want to be doing it just as they wanted — as they want.
And I also want to be existing in full integrity, so I decided not to stay for one more serve. And that’s — and instead of doing that, I ended up walking from Los Angeles to the Mexico border, which was, the completion of the walk from Canada to Mexico, which I wasn’t planning on completing the walk. But the length of a Vipassana happens to be about the same length of walking from Mexico or Los Angeles to Mexico. It takes about, you know, ten to 14ish days. So that’s what I ended up doing for those 14 days in practicing on the road.
Yeah?
“So when I first learned about your journey, I was kind of questioning, ‘Why was — why is he stopping in L.A.?’ I mean, it’s cool that you ended up going down there, but initially, why wasn’t it border to border?”
I stopped in L.A. initially. The reason why is because I wanted to do this very public experiment that is like a very community-oriented experiment, and I really like the idea of doing this here in Los Angeles. For multiple reasons — one being, Los Angeles is such an ideal location for this in the sense of the juxtaposition of the radical individualism and then this being very community and interconnectedness-based. Also because my job is to be a messenger for these concepts, and so there’s media here. So it’s a great location for being able to, you know, do interviews with the media. And so, also, so those — that really was the reason that I wanted to be in L.A. Like San Diego could have been an option, but L.A. was just the ideal location in that regard.
Yeah.
“Yeah, so I knew nothing about you before I came here, and I’m grateful for that.
Yeah.
“I have two questions.”
“You want to first stick on the — so, um, I meditate quite a bit, but as you can see, I’m quite fidgety as well because I’m blessed with the wonderful autoimmune disease that causes bone pain. So, um, so I do move around a lot. Is that something that would work at this location if I were to go for ten days?
Oh.
“And I — I mean, and you know, you mentioned the sitting still for an hour, and I could get there, but not in totality.”
Yeah, so the question is like if — with fidgeting and moving a lot, would — you know, would you be — would you be able to do the Vipassana? Would it work? And the answer is “yes.” There are people that go there that are probably far more fidgety than you. And some make it all the way, and some, you know, end up leaving; it all depends on your dedication. But it’s a slow progression. So the — the sit of strong determination is not until day five, so you’ve had, you know, four days, and you can fidget all you want in those — in those first four days, you know, you move as you need to.
And even during the sit of strong determination, if you move, you move; there’s nobody forcing you not to move, but you don’t leave the hall.
So you can move if you need to, but you — you make a strong determination that you’re not going to get up, and you’re not going to leave the hall.
But if you move your hands, that’s on you — that’s — you know, you might — you’re not going to get as much out of the practice if you don’t go — if you — you don’t, like, go as deep, but it’s totally, you know, it’s totally fine.
“Moreso on the distraction for others. And I, myself, have taught myself how to be able to sit in the same location for eight hours straight. I mean, I do have to move; just practically speaking, I have to move, so that’s why I was asking that. And it sounds like it could work.”
“My other question was not on the practice, but more in the non-ownership — what motivated you, and did you give up like corporate? Like, did you go full on like from a previous life of access to, you know, of wealth to this? Or … I’m just curious.”
So, what motivated me to do this experiment of non-ownership is that I’ve been on a — 13, it’s been 14 years now of simplifying and downsizing my life, and so it was somewhat of a natural progression to get to this point.
At one point, a handful of years ago, I only owned 44 items. So, you know, the distance between 44 items and zero is not a giant — actually, it’s still a pretty decent step, but it’s nowhere near as big.
So I’ve been living simply and sustainably at the core of my being and working on that for, you know, almost 15 years now, and I like to — I take things to the extreme to really dive deep — to really deepen my practice and really get where I’m trying to go.
And I truly believe that this experiment of non-ownership will really help me with what I want, which is to live a life of service, to live a life in the present moment, to, to live a life that’s based on community rather than independence; interdependence rather than independence and interconnectedness rather than separation.
And so, so it’s a personal experiment that is helping me become who I want to be, and that’s a part of my life plan, too.
So it’s not just like I — I wouldn’t do this experiment of non-ownership, if it didn’t fit into my life plan, which is to be a human being who uses my life to be of service and show that another way is possible and break down many of our harmful and destructive societal norms and, you know, move forward in a more harmonious way.
And then, where I came from: I was running a marketing company in 2011. It was a small marketing company, but I had a goal of being a millionaire by the time I turned 30. And I was very focused on material possessions and financial wealth, and I learned that I was living a delusion. I was — I — everything that I was doing was part of a system of mass exploitation and destruction. That the food I was eating, the car I was driving, the gas I was pumping in the car, the stuff I was buying, the trash I was creating, even the water that I was drinking — it was all part of the destruction of the planet, you know, my fellow humanity, and the plants and animals. And I didn’t want to do that; I wanted to live a life of of harmony — at the very least neutral, but at best, where my life was of true benefit. And, ascend the lies and the — the delusion. Truth is very important to me. And I’m not talking about like my truth. I’m saying … I’m talking about very basic truths, not like one particular religion or anything, but just — just one of my basic truths is like, well, as far as we know, this is the only Earth that we have, so maybe let’s not destroy it. You know?
And I say as far as we know. I’m not saying it is the only Earth; there might be other Earths out there, but as far as we know, this is the one that we have. So, you know, why not not destroy it? Or that, that nuclear bombs hurt when they land on people, so I’d rather not hurt people, you know? Just basics, basic, truths.
So does that answer that question?
“Yeah. It does! Thank you!”
Yeah.
Any other questions come to mind right now?
All right, well, we didn’t ever say hello to the people online. Usually, I say hello, so hello, dear friends! I’m glad to have spent this time with you after, seven weeks of non-ownership, and we’ll see more of you again soon.
We’re all going to just spend some time together, connecting and being here with the Earth. So love you very much, friends out there, and love you all here.
What’s everyone feeling right now?
“Do you have a container for water?”
Yes, my belly!
“No, like, how do you — where do you drink?”
Oh, no, I drink from the water fountains and the faucets. I haven’t — I haven’t done a container for water for the ten days that I was here.
Thanks. In Vipassana, I carried a water bottle with me.
“Okay.”
But, and as far as what I’m going to have during now — this is the new chapter. I’ll be here for five weeks.
“Be here … here?”
Yes. I’ll be here in Griffith Park! Yeah, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, from 3:30 to 7:30, right here.
“Right here?”
Yep, yep — you can come any Thursday through Sunday.
Yeah, I’m not doing — I’m not doing Tuesday, Wednesday. I decided I want to have a little bit more time to dive into some other aspects of life.
So Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, 3:30 to 7:30.
“No Monday either, just to be clear.”
Yeah. And then, but also, I’m doing four immersion classes now. So on Saturdays, I’m doing a Barefoot School on the 29th, and then, actually on a Sunday, I’m doing the “Grow Your Own Toilet Paper” thing, where you can come and get the toilet paper plants. That’s on a Sunday, actually.
And then the next two Saturdays, I’m doing — foraging school, which will be an all-day, you know, mini-school on foraging. And then the next last done, which is, April 19th is, Simple and Sustainable Living School.
So for those that are interested in, you know, deepening some of their skills in these realms, they’ll be — those will be 12:00 to 7:30 for those Saturdays right here. And Saturday night, every night, is a foraging walk. So the foraging walk is — the school will include the foraging walk. So 12 to 4:30, then there’s an hour break, and then foraging walk is after that.
“And that’s all on the website as well?”
Yeah, Robin Greenfield.org/non-ownership.
“I’m going to remember that, but I want to learn how to forage.”
Yep! Every Saturday at 5:30, right here for foraging walks, and then, Saturday, the, 12th is the full-day foraging, and — but yes, it’s all on the website.
Yeah!
All right, I want to take a break of talking — and I’ll still talk, but hang — let’s just hang out as a community now and snack and share hugs and all of that.
Articles referred to:
The Experiment in Non-Ownership – Robin Greenfield in Los Angeles
The Experiment in Non-Ownership – My “Why” and In-Depth Explanation
Non-Ownership in the Physical, Digital and Mental Realms
The Timeline of My Journey to Complete Non-Ownership
The above is a transcription of Non-Ownership Experiment Update Week 7 & Vipassana, which is part of Robin’s “Truth Talks” series during his experiment in non-ownership.
For the full series and depth to this practice visit: The Experiment in Non-Ownership – Robin Greenfield in Los Angeles.