Reflections on Life… Alone in the Forest – On the Water – With it All…

End of Day 4, time is just moving by. I’m very happy to be here. Content. In the moment. No real cravings or yearnings. Fire, eating rice, fish and dehydrated foods. Applesauce. Fishing – big pike. Birds. Swimming. Strong wind today. Lake to myself. Solitude setting in. Getting rest. Writing outlines for the end of the year of foraging campaign – talks, videos, articles, media. Organizing and planning future. Repairing items. Clouds, sky, burnt nose, trees, tea, rocks, sunset, comfort of tent.

Alone in the forest – on the water – with it all…
I’m quite comfortable here alone. I celebrate all the work I’ve done to get to this place of being home within myself, and thus home everywhere. I celebrate that I have made the plants and animals my family, thus I am never alone. I celebrate that at once I can be all alone, yet with it all.

This has been no small feat. I have put my intention on this path and dedicated thousands of hours to the practice. And here I have arrived. In the silence of life, utterly alive and burning for more, yet content with what I have. Now let this not be the pinnacle of my years but only a stage to the beyond. The beyond being a place that I don’t even hold in my mind, for I have no experiential reference to it. That is where I aim to go. That is where I know I can go. And I will, should I put in the fierce yet calm dedication that is needed.

I will overcome all distractions in order to let go of the self enough as to become flowing with it all-interconnected-dissolved into the beyond that is also the here and now.

Money, material possessions, sex… these drives I have already largely rendered obsolete. On the horizon is my quest for fame and notoriety. This must be dissolved. The unbalanced desire for success must go. My weakness for the computer screen and the infinite expanse of the internet must be overcome. I have made meaningful progress in all three of these regards. Each desire has shrunk, not expanded, in the last 3 years, 5 years. Yet it is no given to move forward, and backward is just as likely without vigilance.

And what for it all? A question others have asked me enough times to have me ponder to the point of an answer…To become a fully liberated servant to Earth. Perhaps I could alter that by saying to become an utterly dedicated servant to Earth, because my belief is that to become a servant to Earth and all life – and I mean with every ounce of my being – that would mean that I would inherently also be fully liberated. To live in full service to life is perhaps the most aligned I could become. Alignment is freedom. Alignment is integrity. Alignment is having my actions and my words all pointing in one direction.

If there was a button in front of you that would allow you to let go of every distraction, every lower action, to let go of everything that prevented every ounce of you from being of service, would you push it? For years my answer has been no. I have not been ready. I’ve wanted the gratification (sex being one form). I have arrived at the point where I would push the button. I have surrendered. I have let go. I have dissolved enough… To push the button.

But there is no button, nor will there ever be. There is only countless hours of self observation, self purification, diligent practice and study, and countless roadblocks to overcome on the path. There will never be an end. There will never be an ultimate. The path will always sit on a spectrum. I celebrate where I am today and if I can only maintain this level for the rest of my time, that will be a life well lived in service. I will hold this thought with warmth each day – loving myself just the way I am – loving each human just the way they are – yet striving for more – for myself and for each human I share this path with.

– October 5th, 2026 Turtle Lake In The Boundary Waters
The sun having set with just the slightest pink hue on the horizon, sitting by the fire a belly full of food, well nourished and hydrated. The eve before my first deep journey with psilocybin.

October 6th: Celebrating one month of silence in the last year!
Ahead: a continuous month of Silence.
Future: a year of Silence.

Nearing the final portage:
It feels as if no time has passed at all. Yet anything outside of this place feels so distant. Timelessness. Placeness.

Another successful week of solitude and silence. I felt quite at home on this rock. Content. I’m getting quite comfortable with this practice of being alone with Earth. I’m happy to be returning home. I have much I’m excited to do. I look forward to my next solitude journey. I return rejuvenated and refreshed. A blank slate, I’d almost say.