A Week Alone in the Boundary Waters Wilderness
A Week Alone in the Boundary Waters Wilderness
Written the night prior to embarking:
I am off into the wilderness to experience connection I have been yearning for decades.
I have journeyed long distances across my country and the world. I have traveled solo for months at a time. I have gone deep into the wilderness with others. But as many times as I have dreamed it up, I have never been alone in the wilderness for more than a couple days.
Today, I am paddling and stepping into a dream.
I am paddling into the Boundary Waters of Northern Minnesota for a week alone. This is one of the great wilderness areas of the world, and this time of year there are far fewer people here. I have plans to find a spot where I will not see another human for at least four days, the longest deep solitude of my life. I will spend days in silence, the longest silence of my 35 years. I will arrive here through miles of paddling and portaging my canoe between lakes, rivers and forest.
I will eat the simple whole foods – dried grains, lentils, nuts, seeds and herbs – I have brought, along with the fish that I will catch and the few plants and fungi that I may forage. I have enough food to be comfortable and only food that will nourish my body. I have the basics with me and a couple of educational books to read. No way to reach the outside world or to be reached.
I will exist simply.
I will rest.
I will heal.
I will be as one with Earth as I have been in quite some time.
I will likely cry out tears of joy … of relief … and perhaps of loneliness.
Time of this quality is at the essence of my quality existence on this Earth.
This is time of deep healing. No coordination, no misunderstandings or misperceptions, no explaining, no overstimulation from the business of society.
Through this quality existence, I find the strength, balance and the dedication to live in service to Earth and humanity.
If you think of me this week, think of fresh air, clean water, pure food, our plant and animal relatives and all the healing elements of Earth. Seek this contentment with me, wherever you are, for it can be found anywhere through deep natural practice.
I’ll be returning on the last calendar day of summer and you will hear from me then.
Written one day after returning:
I’m back from a week in the wilderness!
50 miles of paddling and portaging in the water and woods.
7 days without seeing a screen, not even a clock. My only electronic, a headlamp and battery.
7 days of simple whole foods and fish I caught – no processed foods or sugar.
5 days of silence. The longest silence of my life.
3 days without seeing another human, and few humans the entire week.
I was surprisingly not lonely. I didn’t yearn for anything I didn’t have. I felt content and complete. I barely thought about social media or emails. I managed to be quite present in the moment.
I spent a lot of time with my friends out there. Earth, beavers, squirrels, fish, turtles, toads, loons, geese, ducks, swans and my many plant friends. I fostered my love for all our plant and animal relatives and deepened my connection with Earth and all the elements.
I come back feeling revitalized and rejuvenated. I walked in barely able to portage my canoe and pack and I came out literally running with the canoe on my shoulders, feeling strong and solid. I swam daily, soaked up the sun, took in thousands of breaths of fresh air, breathed the many scents of the forest, went to bed early and awoke with the sun. I soaked in all the healing elements and will carry this healing with me wherever I walk and in all encounters that come this fall.
I managed to feel timeless at numerous moments, forgetting that time existed. When I returned and saw a date on a sign at the ranger station, my brain didn’t understand the numbers at first. This was a great sign that I truly managed to disconnect from it all and truly connect with Earth!
This was my longest solo trip into the wilderness. I accomplished something I have been trying to accomplish for over a decade. I will use this as motivation to accomplish more in my service to Earth and humanity.
Journals
The following journals were written while in the wilderness and are minimally edited.
Day 1
Eyes on the verge of tears. Tears of relief to be here and for the rest, solitude, healing and connection to come.
Smooth start. 70+ and sunny, minimal wind. Feeling dizzy and exhausted from lack of rest and imbalance over the last month.
Did 7 or 8 miles less than planned due to late start. Success in new canoe, first time solo paddling long distance. Loneliness set in as I pulled up to my camping spot. Strong wind, choppy water and chilly weather. Fall has arrived and I’m not adjusted to it. Caught a fish on my first cast. Kept 1 walleye for dinner. Set up camp well while feeling lonely and worried and anxious. Started raining within a couple of hours of falling asleep. Horrible dreams of bears in camp. Horrible dreams of being soaking wet. Waking up relieved that it was only a dream.
But then realizing that my tent was leaking around the edges and some stuff was soaked. It rained the entire night. Bad dreams that mixed with reality the entire night. On edge constantly to all sounds and movement. Still raining when morning arrived. Rain and cold continued and I mostly hid in the tent. Very difficult to tell what time it is with a completely gray sky. Hung my stuff to dry at the first ray of sunshine. Spent the day working on my gear and drying stuff. Very windy from the west, coming right into camp. Feeling stuck not wanting to leave until everything is dry and I’m sure it won’t rain again. I have no rain jacket and not much for changes of clothing. Must be strategic about when I make my moves. Plus strong wind from the direction I need to go. Finally left and the sun was already low. It seemed much earlier but when the sun first came out it looked to be past 3. Probably 5 when I left. More feelings of anxiety or worry. Worried about bears at night (irrationally), worried about being cold at night (not sure if my bag is warm enough), worried about getting wet and not being able to dry out and being cold. Worried about running out of fuel (fire ban due to drought — I usually cook over fires), worried about breaking or losing gear. Worried about not having the food I need to be comfortable. I’m happy that I will settle in after a few days. I’m not used to being alone, being in the wilderness depending only on my own gear with no option for help to have access to information such as weather. It’s normal that I would not be at ease as I am out of my element. Hopefully, I will fall into that element soon. I haven’t been anxious much the last few months and it is so nice to not be anxious.
It was a very nice 4 miles. Very smooth. Got to a nice camp and set up as the sun set. After setting up camp, I sat by the water and experienced the closest moment to silence that I have had in quite some time. Just the sounds of ripples on the water, crickets in the distance, partridges drumming and a beaver slapping its tail. Sitting looking at the stars in the clear sky with such peacefulness. Questioning my existence in the universe. Unsettling, so I decided to not go there tonight. Lying in the tent writing.
I’m here to rest, to sleep, eat healthy and heal. Feel a deep connection to the earth, slow down, regain my balance, feel contentment and joy, to grow, challenge myself, simply to exist. To pursue the path in life that feels in alignment to me.
The air mattress got a hole in it. Fixing it and going to bed, feeling better than last night.
Day 2
Today was weird. My reference to time was so unusual. Today passed faster than almost any day has. But also not knowing the time until nightfall made me anxious as the sun rose.
The calm of the water reflected the calm within me. Every sound near and on the horizon was as graceful as I felt watching the sun rise. A new me has risen with all the thanks given to the elements of earth.
Good night’s rest. Awoke to the scurrying of a creature outside the tent. Mixture of good dreams and bad bear dreams. But not as lifelike as the first night, since it was “bear humans” on the ocean at a resort. Adjusting to not using earplugs while sleeping. No doubt I have entered my element of minimal fear or anxiety in my mind. Will it last?
Anxious as I decide to go carry the canoe over numerous rapid areas rather than trek by the portage with it. This took 3 hours instead of 1 to 1.5. Anxious it was getting late and I hadn’t made it far. Relieved when someone told me it was 3:30. Anxious about scratching the kayak. Anxious about not having a fishing license and about my glass jars and if they broke. About my destination being in Canada. I pulled my canoe up and let gallons of water in back. Dry sack with food was not closed and water got in it, getting my rice, lentils and sunflower seeds wet. Almost broke the fishing pole bushwhacking. Lesson learned. Only portage in the designated portages. Not worth the stress.
Day 3
Nothing recorded
Day 4
Sprinkles began last night just as I was about to go to sleep. Then it turned to rain. A thunderstorm arrived and it dripped right through the tent onto me. I no longer remember how bad it was but it couldn’t have been too bad. This time I was pretty much ready for it.
Slow morning that dragged on washing clothes, cooking, packing, drying things, etc. Heard a sound about 3-4 times and hid from it in case it was a helicopter. Never saw it or figured out what it was. Left at around 10 or 12. Once out on the water it was beautiful and fishing was great. I started catching fish right away. I could not be sure that fishing would be good where I left and really would like to have good fishing to enjoy. So I gave up on the idea of not seeing anyone for days and chose the joy of fishing.
It was calm and beautiful and I was enjoying fishing in the rain. Then came the downpour. Dragged my canoe up and took it under the trees. It was so dark out but I didn’t know what time it was. For a short period time seemed to not exist and I felt both present in the moment, in a sense non-existent.
The rain stopped. I emptied out the canoe which was filled with some. I caught more fish than I dreamed. I found the first time it was a warm rain. I continued fishing. Another thunderstorm came. Eventually the rain stopped and I’m pretty good and in a comfortable place.
This rain fly and tent just are no longer waterproof. They are 30 years old. The patch will not hold. The pouch for the Sawyer filter broke from me using too much pressure, which is because I don’t have the plunger for backwashing. I’ve made my share of mistakes on this trip. Fortunately nothing too bad. I’ve been so busy with setting up and taking down camp and fixing and drying gear that I haven’t relaxed nearly enough. This has been an undertaking. Hopefully the next 3 days in the same spot will be really nice and I can fish, nap and read.
Today was a day with no sightings of other people! So surprised as I’m on a little strip of water that others would have to pass going in either direction. Last person I saw was about 2 hours before sunset last night. Maybe I won’t see anyone or at least only a couple people for the next 2 days.
Day 5
Not much to write, which is very good. Woke up before sunrise and got directly at it. Made a small walleye for lunch. Back at camp laid in the sun and basked in the weather protected from wind. Reading a book, eating fish, taking a nap and the sun seemed considerably lower after nap. Did not see another human. Two full days! Another day of silence! Silence started at 2 in the evening, The same as the last human sighting. I used a wood fuel camp stove successfully in the evening to make tea. Feeling safe at night using fire without risk of being seen. Not sure about smoke during the day. I feel that I could go back tomorrow and feel complete about the trip. But more time will be good. I was not lonely at all today. I was anxious way less. Minimal stress. A few bits of presence with the moment. I’m glad that I’m writing this journal. I’m grateful that I’ve been warm enough at night. My tent dried out today and I slept pretty decent last night. Excited to read a chapter or two and go to bed.
Day 6
Slept solid through the night and awoke to a surprising sun at dawn. Slept past sunrise.
Early swim in the cold breeze, stretching and some self care. Neck in a lot of pain from the pillow. Realized while fishing I have barely thought of the computer, email or social media out here. Have not thought of work much at all. Very successful in that regard. Started thinking of Trash Me in LA around January. Going to do some planning for the month ahead. Broke silence after accidentally losing a fish. I said “Dang, that was a big one!”
Saw 2 canoes with 2 people in each. Wasn’t happy to hear them speaking and they hung around. Got in bed before it was fully dark. Took labels off clothing. Reading and going to bed. The wind picked up. Could be rain. Hopefully not. Forecast says the warmest day will be 76 tomorrow! And no more cold nights either. Hopeful for an early start tomorrow and the ability to fish and rest on both days of travel. Felt a little bit lonely tonight but only very minor. Woke up before sunrise, contemplated packing up and leaving but was too tired and tried to sleep. I rested but did not sleep. Packed up and was paddling by maybe 8 or 9?
Wind was strong and I had to work hard between the portages. I had a couple very short sections with favorable wind. Had to work hard for almost every mile. Could not fish. Short portages went well. Got to this portage in good time and that went well. My body felt strong. Very up to the challenge. Going well in difficult conditions. Ate breakfast.
Once on the big lake the conditions were rough, a bit scary. I got through the first lake then another. But once my canoe came out to the open lake, it became nearly impossible. Winds may have been 25 mph out of the south.
Decided it was not far for me to push on and even being so close to the campsite where I left my yoke. I spent an hour or so in a comfortable place where I could nap. Then I cleaned, organized, etc., and it was a good time. The wind reduced to a manageable but still strong wind. I pushed on to try to make it to the end of this lake, to the narrow pass where the other section was. The reason being in case the wind is back to really strong in the morning. I made it to the camp at sunset. Ten or so miles to go tomorrow. South for tomorrow, which is the most difficult wind. I’ll be on mostly larger open water heading west all day. The last 3 miles in that direction could not be as bad. If the wind is 10 mph, it will be a hard day. My goal is to make it back by evening. Forecast calls for rain tomorrow evening. I’m going to bed early to wake up early and get on the water right away.
Day 7
• No human sighting totally
• Haven’t seen my face in 7 days
• No sugar – longest ever
• No processed foods – longest since Food Freedom
• silent: 4 days
• Longest solo trip in nature
• 45 miles paddled and portaged round trip
• 12 portages total
• Got into great shape, felt muscles strengthen, lost 1-2 pounds
• Feel well rested and slept
• Computer and screen fast 7 days – 2nd longest ever!
• No clock/watch
• Reset my habits – intending for it to carry over
Slept very poorly last night. Was too warm in my sleeping bag. Getting up to pee and the moon was so bright that it was disorienting. I could have been canoeing or hiking through the woods it was so bright. Went back to bed and had one of the craziest dreams of my life. Wanted to sleep more. Read for an hour or two. The wind had not died, so there was no hurry to get out paddling. Wind had reduced significantly and was very manageable. Made a really solid first 3-4 miles to my night one campsite. Ate leftover meal and pushed on. Got quite difficult. On and off light rain, too.
Still raining hard when I got to the campground. Nobody in sight. The Ranger store was closed. Got under the overhead and changed into dry clothes. That felt good. No people walking around or cars leaving. I found the host campsite and called pack sack with no response. At 6, I decided to start walking the about 5.5 miles. I made it about 2 miles and Nick picked me up. I don’t think he was happy. Took me to the lodge set up bunk room. I feel bad and am anxious, I really don’t like being a burden on people. I don’t like being dependent on people. I shouldn’t have called and should have just walked instead. Worried about telling him I lost the yoke and worried about having to search for one.
Even though I’ll pay for the yoke, I’m going to offer to work for them tomorrow. A job they don’t want to do that will give them time to make up for picking me up.
Took everything out of my pack to dry it all. Much of it is still wet. Just more work. So much time spent on this drip drying stuff and repairing. When I was at the ranger station, I read a sign that the fire ban had been lifted and I was perplexed. I thought that date was a while ago before I even went in. Then I realized it was 3 days ago! Interesting that my brain was not processing the dates. Also ended my silence by speaking to myself about an hour before finishing. I would have liked to continue but the time had come. I gave thanks to Earth and sang “happiness is here and now.” I wanted to speak on my own terms, not to the first person I came across.
Wind is really whirling out there and it’s been raining. I’m glad I’m not out here in this!